Ban on Heels

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Words by Billie Jenkins Photograph by Nuria Cabrera

Friend of the Kremlin and all round Bond Baddie material Oleg Mikheyev (of unresolved embezzlement trails and obstructing justice fame), has made a fresh wave of enemies in the women of Russia. Oleg holds a parliamentary seat in a country where social cohesion is at boiling point, in certain areas a predicted 50% of the professional population want to leave Russia (Forbes, 2013), and their leader is a cartoon, hyper-masculine, potential warmonger with a literal fondness for the holy trinity of guns, bitches and bling. It seems natural therefore he would turn his attention to the crucial issue of the hour and propose a ban on high heels and ballet flats.

The proposal reads “Footwear should have heels that are two to four centimetres high, five centimetres high at the most” moving on to state “The harmful effects of wearing extremely high heels and flat shoes have now been recognized by experts of the entire world”…”It’s necessary to change this trend.” Oleg has suggested the five page proposal is not intended to capture the imaginations of wider government, but rather raise awareness through its controversy. Apart form alienating
a huge amount of people and demonstrating a general lack of diplomacy on Oleg’s part, the proposal highlights a much darker side of Russia’s governing institutions. Underneath talk of controversy drawing attention to the health benefits of specific shoe types, the time and effort invested in this idea is symbolic of a lack of respect for the people he’s governing and the seriousness of his own position of power. It demonstrates with crystal distinction the carelessness these men rule. The proposal, when comprehending the influence in individual lives Oleg Mikheyev bears, becomes farcical at the expense of the people.

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