Frank Think: A Future Class Divide

Nuria CabreraPhotograph by Nuria Cabrera Words by Frank Think

Oliver Curry, Evolutionary Theorist at the London School of Economics suggests humanity may split into two sub-species in 100,000 years. He proposes the human race will peak in 3000 A.D. before a decline due to dependence on technology.

Dr Curry expects a genetic attractive upper class and dim-witted goblin-like lower class to emerge. His report makes for interesting reading especially the part about upper class men having bigger penises and women pert breasts, now that’s information worth retaining. Next time your partner won’t stop gaming just yell, ‘hey it will make your penis shrink,’ or, ‘your boobs will sag,’ if you continue playing.

I’m not sure if he is right on the 3000 A.D. date as most parents with teenage boys have already experienced the ‘gaming’ grunt. A form of communication attributed to the over stimulation of shooting zombies or driving like a maniac in GT Auto 5. I was informed a few days ago; ‘sunlight isn’t a Gamers best friend’ and ‘time to grab a cheeky dinner’ as the big online game was scheduled and nothing could stop that, not even dinner scheduled at the same time each day for the full extent of their childhood years!

I was confused with his suggestion that the goblin class would be less able to perform in teams as the last time I retreated to my darkened cave to watch the box set of Lord of the Rings the goblins and trolls worked very well as a totally unified team to cause deliciously frightful mayhem.

I wonder if Evolutionary Theorists are considered upper class or part of the dim-witted class?

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