White Trashed

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Words By Billie Jenkins above Image courtesy of Kreayshawn

Riff Raff is a disgusting sight to behold, his pink scalp, scraped back into braids, matches the neon pink of his fake Rolex. In a male dominated industry there has been slew of attention on female rappers in recent years; and the shit, crass, mechanically synthed genre is no exception. Donned in panties and more punches of colour than a Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen episode of Changing Rooms, it’s shocking how many breasted Dirt Nasty’s there are; all running round in Air Max and talking about mundane things like breakfast whilst salaciously pouring honey over their bodies for Vevo. This is music to hide, deleting your YouTube history with the same shame as if you’d just sweated one out to Fake Taxi. Always the first to cite Corinne& as on the edge of trends I am awkwardly aware most of these ladies heyday were about a year ago, but with lyrics as tight as ’Bitch you ain’t no Barbie, I see you work at Arby’s, Number 2, super-sized Hurry up I’m starving’ who’s whining? Here’s your Monday morning fix of trash.

1. Kreyshawn

At the top of the shit hop game Kreayshawn has donned the cover of ID and worked with 2Chainz on a song about Breakfast, the tightest lyrics being ’Call me Krey Hefner, Playboy Bunny, Bout that juice, cheese, bread. Breakfast.’ I’m torn between the fact it’s loaded with coded drugs and funds references, and the fact if you take it at face value it’s quite a nice account of the most important meal of the day.

 

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2. Feebzz

She’s irritating as fuck and would almost definitely beat me up if she met me, but a combination of stellar Microsoft PowerPoint video effects and the fact she seems to be slurring her words at all times make compelling viewing. Going off the Molly is her opus, with cracking lines such ’see a cutie in a snapback, send a nudie to his snapchat, yea and you know he took a screen chat, so you know he tryn’t tap that’. OC OD is also a treat, with a slowed down soundtrack blasting to an account of rich people living.

 

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3.Chanel West Coast
Looks like a stripper version of Jessica Simpson and raps BAD. She busts the millions for her YouTube video views, but a small part of me feels sad that the most successful woman on this list is the ultimate package of money, handbags, cars, blonde and tits. Less lyrical more jiggle.

 

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Nina Macc

On the subject of tits, Nina Macc has some. You might notice if you watch errr… any music video she’s ever made ever. Her hit ISOYF states ’when I sit on your face it tastes just like candy'; though it’s hard to trust anything she says because her face isn’t her own so she’s hard to read.

imageLil Debbie

She raps about baking cakes and has talking Henry VIII portraits in her videos, which you think is kind of cute until you hear ’These bitches boring like golfin, I’ll put them all in coffin, I’ll put em in a box like muffin mix’. She hangs out with Riff Raff and the ALT Twins though so she never going to be a soft sung Mary Berry. Her look channels Amy Winehouse and 8 Mile in equal parts, which is an unacceptable combination if you want to party in the UK without a Ford Focus driver offering you a tenner for some suck.

 

 

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